Here it is: the post I swore I’d never write. But I must. Because this is the 11th Mother’s Day these feelings have resurfaced and quite honestly, they need to be released or I’m gonna burst.
But before I go there, I have a painful but honest disclaimer. I am a person rather concerned with her own happiness, so often times when I feel it may be in jeopardy I will claw my way out of any situation. I will hold people standing in my way as the objects of my dissatisfaction, I will lament about the audacious behaviors of others, I will proclaim over and over like a broken record what it is I expect out of certain situations, and when all else fails I will whine and pout until no one can stand to be around me any more. The disclaimer here isn’t that I do these things, its’s that I’m aware of them. So as I proceed it is important to keep in mind that I realize most of my complaints about others are not about others, they are about me, me, ME!!
Another thing that’s important to know is that on most occasions I am willing to eat crow, suck it up, stick it out and sacrifice immensely on behalf of the happiness and comfort of my friends and family so long as it doesn’t directly conflict with any of the (very few) major non-negotiable items on my list. For example, I hate getting up early, but I will any time necessary for my husband and kids. It’s a painful, miserable experience for me to get out of bed before I’m ready, but I do it beacause that’s what moms do. Another thing, I like my kitchen clean before I go to bed. Dishes done, counters wiped and floor swepped. Anyone impeding my effort at the 8 o’clock bedtime hour to accomplish this will know my wrath. Number three is don’t EVER take advantage of me. Not my kids nor my husband have the liberty to suck me for all I have. I believe it’s my basic human right to eat, sleep, bathe and toilet whenever I need to without being bothered or feeling guilty. Anyone who messes with that will regret it.
And the mother of all things I believe I should never have to feel guilty about is wanting to be queen for one day. Now, I was never one who tried to pull that off with the birthday thing. I have never thrown birthday parties for myself and asked everyone I know to join me in celebrating that fact that I exist. But the occasion on which I feel I deserve this one special day to be loved and pampered is MOTHER”S DAY! These years while the kids are young are the times when I feel I should get that. And here’s my reasoning why:
Because their little demanding, spoiled and self-centered butts need to show some thanks and respect. I know that sounds aweful, but I believe it. Kids figure out how wonderful and awesome mom’s are when they become parents themselves one day, and when that day comes they should need no prompting about how to properly love and respect the mama. But I think when they’re small they need to make a whole day dedicated to it with as much assistance from the daddy as possible. He should be ready and willing to drive them to stores, dole out money, help them prepare food and serve her all day. This is an example of what I call a proper raising. And as a child we did it for our moms. Now they get flowers and a card because by the age of thirty, one should know how to show love and resepct all year round and not depend on ONE DAY to get it all in.
So imagine my reaction when evey year my mother-in-law mentions “the Mother’s Day Plans” to me. For Mother’s Day this year we’re going to do such-and-such…you are to bring – I ask in my head “Are you effing kidding me??” How the hell am I supposed to get my Queen on when I’m making the dish to pass and loading up MY FAMILY in the car, the one I’ve given over my life to, in order to join the party I’m not sure who the guest of honor is supposed to be. I’m pretty sure it isn’t me because no one asked me anything, just gave me orders. This is where this all circles back to me and my issues.
Because I have a wonderful mother-in-law. I also have a wonderful mom, and I am a wonderful mom. But their ain’t room for all three of us to be queen for a day.